Ray of Light

September 24, 2007 at 9:42 pm | Posted in Amazing Narrator, Guiding Light, Guilty Pleasure, Historical Fiction, Jonathan's Story, LIfe, My Life with Books, Reading, Reva | Leave a comment
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Today I’ve been catching up on my Guiding Light episodes so that I don’t get hit broadsided while reading Jonathan’s Story.  It was while listening to Marina whining about loving Cyrus but being unable to stop being the straight-laced Cooper that she is that I had a mini-personal revelation.  I love Reva for the same reasons I love Scarlett O’Hara and Elizabeth Winthrop – they move mountains to be the person they want to be.  Sure, Reva doesn’t have quite the strict societal norms with which Scarlett and Elizabeth had to contend, but that doesn’t make her any less her own woman.  I like Marina Cooper and I love Melanie Wilkes, but they are not the reasons why I read or listen to soap operas.  I want to experience all that it out there in this world.  I’m sorry, but you just can’t do that through people who are as thoroughly kind and self-deprecating.

What does this say about me?  Well, I guess it says that I define “making the most out of life” as experiencing all (well, most) of what this world has to offer.  I do not find that through reading the lives of saints (either secular or otherwise).  Good people are the backbone of this world. There’s no doubt about it.  However, the individuals who push and question and scandalize that have a greater impact on where society heads.  I suffer from too much guilt and anxiety to do as I damn well please and to hell with everyone else.  As I get older this is less problematic, but I don’t see myself as a woman who will change the world.  Instead, I will champion those women and men (let’s not forget them) who have done what I might have liked to do by reading about their lives and reporting to my readers here.

I hope this doesn’t make me sort of voyeur or a purveyor of personality pornography…  Strike that.  So what if it is?  Reva, Scarlett, or Elizabeth wouldn’t feel guilty about it – at least not for long.

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